Toilet Ponderings 12.25.21

If you are depositing fecal matter into the toilet on Christmas day, do we realize that is a gift from God and Baby Jesus because we are allowed to have a body that functions?

Does that make our deposits holy fecal?

Would the snowman be the snowman if he could drop a holiday steamer on the front lawn?

When you flush the loo on Christmas day are you sending Christmas packages to the septic tank?

Does anybody read toilet ponderings on Christmas day?

What does it mean if you would rather read toilet ponderings on Christmas day than associate with the inlaws?

If you are thinking about toilet ponderings and you are not in the bathroom does that mean you will be in the bathroom soon?

If you need to go but you are a bit stuffed up does anyone realize it would be easier to make skid marks while thinking about your feelings for the toxic Dr. Anthony Fauci or his cohort in crime Joe Brandon Bidlaudin?

If you can’t snap a log off while sitting on a comfortable toilet would it make it easier to say “let’s go, Brandon”?

Are people who courtesy flush more likely to be favored by baby Jesus took his first crap did Mary and the others say “Holy Shit”?

If you eat the carrot sticks on a holiday veggie tray will you poop bunny droppings?

Would one be more shocked to find out their dog knows how to spell Merry Christmas on the front lawn while dragging its ass on the grass?

How many toilet ponderings is it ok to have on Christmas day?

What does it mean if you think to yourself that farting around the Christmas table is gifting those presents?

Is it wise to change your baby’s diaper on Christmas morning if you were drinking heavily on Christmas eve?

How old are babies when their poop changes from yellow to brown?

Is it wrong to give enema bags to friends at Christmas?

Why do people make bathrooms with no fans?

What kind of pie on Christmas makes you poop more?

On Christmas day, is it ok to let grandpa poop in his favorite chair and not want to change his pants all day, then invite everyone in to watch his movie on the big screen?

Why am I still sitting here toasting ass mushrooms over an open fire while teaching a 5 yr old to light his farts?

Why are you thinking to yourself what color of lighter the 5 yr old would prefer?

Since the government wants to make a 5-year-old drink cool-aid, accept the jab, isn’t the 5-year-old old enough to light the spike proteins emitting from his Christmas bum?

Is the 5-year-old old enough to vote and get a driver’s license if the 5-year-old is old enough to get the jab and do gender switch without telling parents?

When will people realize they are being lied to by Dr Fauci, Joe Bidlaudin, the CDC, the FDA, and the WHO while they are praying that God saves them from an angry population of individuals who realized that they have been lied to?

I wonder how many people are still reading my Christmas day toilet pondering.

I wonder if people will share my toilet pondering at the dining room table with their friends and family.

If a female voice hollers through the bathroom door “what are you still doing in there?”, is it ok to say “I’m thinking”?

If they reply, “you have been in there for a long time, what are you thinking about?”, and should you say I wonder why no one left toilet paper in the bathroom?

Then is our next thought as you sit there for an hour or two, “why isn’t someone bringing me some toilet paper.”

Is it ok for you to be impressed with the size of your manhood?

If you fart and it’s hot is that a burnt offering?

8 thoughts on “Toilet Ponderings 12.25.21”

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